The life of an MTT grinder

I have a very love/hate relationship with MTT's right now. I have been playing them nonstop for about 9 days now and feel like I've learned something. One thing that is for sure is I am 100% addicted to them.

The variance, beats and other shit that comes with MTTs though is almost too much to handle. I'm not great at MTT's by any means but feel that I am super +ev in every single one I play. There are so many weak oppenents who it seems like just don't really care about the money. But again, I make some dreadful plays myself that are really inexcusable. I really should take some time off as I think that the amount I've played has really affected my game.

But, I've dropped about 6-7k in the last 9 days playing MTTs and really want to hit something. Even if I was the worst MTT player I should have made at least one decent cash in the 200+ MTTs I played. Gad, some of the shit was just so frustrating its hard to describe. I was at that point where you expect AK to be cracked by AQ, lower pocket pairs to hit sets and flushes cracked by full houses.

The worst part of all of this was the beats always happened at the high buy in MTTs so I would do decent in the smaller events (never FT, of course) but just get owned by some stupid beat in all of the $100+ tournies. So yeah, I'm a little pissed off right now. Although because they are MTTs and its hard to tell, this seems to be the worst run I have ever gone on in my poker career. I really do hope things will start to look up or I'm going to have to figure out a way to deposit.

Oh, I also played a bit of cash and lost 3 buy-ins there as well. Go me!